… with sincere apologies to Clement Clarke Moore
’Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the land
Not a computer was working as there was no broadband.
The software was loaded and wires connected with care,
In hopes that Cincinnati Bell or Time Warner soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of an Nintendo Wii danced in their heads;
Unable to Google or log on to Amazon.com
We found neither the Wii or even a new Tom Tom.
When out on the driveway two trucks pulled in,
We sprang to our windows to investigate the din.
The LED lights reflecting on the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of high-tech to everything below.
When, what should appear to my wondering eye,
But one rep from Bell and the other, a cable guy,
More punctual that most times with tool belts they came,
Both knocked on the door and asked for our name:
“No Smith, Jones or Johnson do we have on our lists
Are you sure that dispatch might not have missed?”
A quick call to the office confirmed our plight
and they both said they could set things right.
They spoke no more, but went straight to their work,
One checked the phone line the other gave a smirk,
“That’s old tech” he explained,
“Cable is better for the internet to be sustained.”
Back and forth they argued well into the night
While my wife and I saw that finding a Wii was getting out of sight.
And then, in a twinkling, we heard up above
The clanking of a ladder and someone shout “Shove!”
As we drew in our heads, and were turning around,
Down the chimney the DirectTV man came with a bound.
He was dressed all in blue, from head to toe,
And his face indicated that he was someone in the know
A bundle of tools he had flung on his back,
A drill and saw and of course a spare battery pack.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And installed a new dish, receiver and one added perk
A new satellite modem was part of the deal
For only $150 a month, what a steal.
This will bring your internet back he inferred;
It not too late to order on line he assured.
So we logged on to Shopzilla and a Wii we did find
Compete with free shipping from UPS, oh how kind.
With our broadband back we were both in awe
And bought most everything on line that we saw.
There were Blackberries, iPods and an new HDTV,
A Laptop, cell phone and of course a DVD.
As the three went to their trucks and were driving away
“Don’t forget the extra batteries” we heard them all say.
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